Public life in the UK is utterly dominated by the privately educated.
Don’t believe me? Check out the list below.
population
cabinet
power
Please note: Not all the people on this list are terrible bastards (although, let’s face it, the vast majority are).
| Name | Institution | Profession |
|---|---|---|
| Adam Boulton | Westminster School | Newscaster |
| Adam Buxton | Westminster School | Screenwriter, Comedian |
| Adam Henson | Cheltenham College | TV Presenter |
| Adam Memon | The Grammar School at Leeds | 55 Tufton Street Scum |
| Ade Edmondson | Pocklington School | Comedian |
| Adetomiwa Edun | Eton | Actor |
| Adrian Newey | Repton | F1 Car Designer |
| Aidan Gillen | St. Vincent's C.B.S. | Actor |
| Aimee Lou Wood | Cheadle Hulme | Actor |
| Alan Carr | Quinton House School | Comedian |
| Alan Davies | Bancroft's School | Comedian |
| Alan Rusbridger | Cranleigh | Guardian Editor |
| Alan Whicker (RIP) | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Travel Presenter |
| Alastair Campbell | Bradford Grammar | Editor |
| Alastair Stewart | Salesian College | GBeebies Newsfart |
| Alex Horne | Lancing College | Comedian |
| Alex Lawther | Churcher's College | Actor |
| Alex Younger | Marlborough College | Former MI6 Chief |
| Alexander Armstrong | Durham | TV Presenter |
| Alexander Fiske-Harrison | Eton | Writer |
| Alexander Larman | Winchester College | Literary Editor of Spectator World, stalwart defender of notorious paedophile Eric Gill |
| Alexander Nix | Eton | Former CEO of Cambridge Analytica |
| Alexandra Shulman | St Paul's Girls' School | Editor, Vogue |
| Alfie Allen | Windlesham House School | Actor |
| Alfred Enoch | Westminster School | Actor |
| Alice Eve | Bedales | Actor |
| Alice Roberts | The Red Maids' School | TV Presenter |
| Alice Thomson | School of St Helen and St Katharine | Journalist |
| Alistair Brownlee | Bradford Grammar School | Oympian (Triathalon) |
| Alistair Potts | Winchester College | Former World Champion Cox |
| Alister Jack | Crawfordton House | Secretary of State for Scotland |
| Allegra Stratton | Latymer Upper School | Former Downing Street Press Secretary |
| Alok Sharma | Reading Blue Coat School | COP26 President |
| Amanda Milling | Moreton Hall | Minister of State for Asia |
| Amanda Spielman | St Paul's Girls' School | Chief Inspector of Ofsted |
| Amber Rudd | Cheltenham Ladies' College | Former Secretary of State |
| Anas Sarwar | Hutchesons' Grammar School | Leader of the Scottish Labour Party |
| Andrea Riseborough | Newcastle upon Tyne Church High School | Actor |
| Andrew Castle | Millfield School | LBC Presenter |
| Andrew Garfield | City of London Freeman's School | Actor |
| Andrew Marr | High School of Dundee | TV Presenter |
| Andrew Murray | Worth School | Corbyn Crony |
| Andrew Neil | Paisley Grammar School (was fee paying) | Chairman The Spectator |
| Andrew RT Davies | Wycliffe College | Leader of the Welsh Conservative Group in the Senedd |
| Andrew Selous | Eton | Tory MP |
| Andy Street | King Edward's School, Birmingham | Mayor, West Midlands |
| Andy Wigmore | Sacred Heart College | Brexit Wanker |
| Andy Wilmore | Repton | TV Producer |
| Anita Rani | Bradford Grammar | TV Presenter |
| Anne-Marie Trevelyan | St Paul's Girls' School | Secretary of State for Transport |
| Annie Nightingale | St Catherine's School, Twickenham | Radio Presenter |
| Anthony Smith | Winchester College | Sculptor |
| Antony Worrall Thompson | King's School, Canterbury | Shoplifter |
| Anya Taylor-Joy | Queen's Gate School | Actor |
| Armando Iannucci | St. Aloysius' College | Screenwriter, Comedian |
| Arron Banks | Crookham Court | Brexit Wanker |
| Arthur Darvill | Bromsgrove School | Actor |
| Barry Gardiner | High School of Glasgow, Haileybury College | Labour MP, Corbyn Crony, Brexshitter |
| Bear Grylls | Eton | TV Presenter |
| Ben Ainslie | Truro School | Olympian (Sailing) |
| Ben Anderson | Bedford Modern School | Jornalist, Travel Presenter |
| Ben Edwards | Reigate Grammar School | Commentator |
| Ben Fogle | Bryanston | TV Presenter |
| Ben Goldacre | Magdalen College School | Doctor, Author |
| Ben Lovett | King's College | Keyboardist, Mumford & Sons |
| Ben Shephard | Chigwell School | TV Presenter |
| Ben Wallace | Millfield School | Secretary of State for Defence |
| Benedict Cumberbatch | Harrow | Actor |
| Bernard Jenkin | Highgate | Tory MP |
| Bill Bailey | King Edward's School, Bath | Comedian, Musician |
| Bill Turnbull (RIP) | Eton | TV Presenter |
| Billie Piper | Sylvia Young Theatre School | Singer, Actress |
| Bob Stewart | Chigwell School | Tory MP |
| Bonnie Langford | St Catherine's School, Twickenham | TV Presenter, Actor |
| Boris Johnson | Eton | Disgraced Former Prime Minister, liar, cheat, Russian asset and all-round scumbag |
| Brandon Lewis | Forest School | Lord Chancellor, and Secretary of State for Justice |
| Brian Cox | Oldham Hulme Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Brian Leveson | Liverpool College | Judge |
| Caggie Dunlop | Wellington College | Reality TV Star |
| Camilla Long | Oxford High | Tory Presstitute |
| Camilla Parker-Bowles | Queen's Gate School | Queen Consort |
| Camilla Tominey | St Albans High School For Girls | LBC Presenter |
| Cara Delevingne | Bedales | Model, Actress |
| Carey Mulligan | Woldingham School | Actor |
| Carl Hester | Elizabeth College | Olympian (Equestrian) |
| Carol Smillie | Hutchesons' Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Caroline Lucas | Malvern Girls' College | Green MP |
| Caroline Quinton | Tring Park School for the Performing Arts | Actor |
| Carrie Johnson | Godolphin and Latymer School | Concubine |
| Catherine, Princess of Wales | Marlborough College | Future Queen Consort |
| Celia Walden | Westminster School | Right wing tabloid hate goblin and wife of Penis Morgan |
| Charles Edwards | Winchester College | Actor |
| Charles Moore | Eton | Lord Temporal (former Telegraph Editor) |
| Charles Spencer | Eton | Diana's Brother |
| Charlie Falconer | Glenalmond | Architect |
| Charlotte Ivers | Dean Close School | Times Journalist |
| Charlotte Ritchie | James Allen's Girls' School | Actor |
| Charlotte Smith | Loughborough High School | TV Presenter |
| Chris Addison | Manchester Grammar School | Comedian |
| Chris Harris | Clifton College | TV Presenter |
| Chris Hollins | Tonbridge School | TV Presenter |
| Chris Hoy | George Watson's College | Olympian (Cycling) |
| Chris Martin | Sherborne School | Singer Songwriter |
| Chris Morris | Stonyhurst College | Comedian, Screenwriter |
| Chris Whitty | Malvern College | Chief Medical Officer for England |
| Christian Fraser | Queen Elizabeth's Grammar School | Senior News Correspondent, BBC News |
| Christian Horner | Arnold Lodge School | F1 Team Principal |
| Christopher Hope | Shrewsbury School | Journalist, Chief Political Correspondent for Telegraph |
| Christopher Lee (RIP) | Wellington College | Actor |
| Christopher Steele | Wellington College | Former Spy |
| Claire Foy | Oxford School of Drama | Actor |
| Clare Balding | Downe House | TV Presenter |
| Claudia Winkleman | City of London School for Girls | TV Presenter |
| Clemmie Moodie | Guildford High School | Editor - Showbiz (The Sun) |
| Cleo Watson | Haberdashers' Monmouth School for Girls | Johnson Advisor, Partygater, Writer of Terrible Erotic Fiction |
| Clive Bull | Dulwich | LBC Presenter |
| Conor Burns | St Columba's College, St Albans | Minister of State in the Department for International Trade |
| Constance Marten | St Mary’s Shaftesbury | Alleged Baby Killer |
| Cressida Dick | Oxford High | Met Police Commissioner |
| Crispin Odey | Harrow | Hedge Fund Manager, Brexit Wanker, Tory Donor, Rumoured Sex Pest |
| Daisy Donovan | St Paul's Girls' School | TV Presenter, Actor |
| Daisy Edgar-Jones | The Mount School for Girls | Actress |
| Daisy Ridley | Tring Park School for the Performing Arts | Jedi |
| Damien Lewis | Eton | Actor |
| Dan Mazer | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Screenwriter and Director |
| Dan Stevens | Tonbridge | Actor |
| Daniel Barnett | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | LBC Presenter |
| Daniel Day-Lewis | Sevenoaks School | Actor |
| Daniel Finkelstein | University College School | Former executive editor of The Times |
| Daniel Hannan | Marlborough College | Brexit Wanker |
| Daniel Kawczynski | St George's College | Tory MP, Brexit Wanker |
| Daniel Radcliffe | City of London School | Harry Potter |
| Daniel Sandford | Magdalen College School | BBC News Home Affairs Correspondent |
| Daniel Snow | St Paul's School, London | TV Presenter |
| Danny Kruger | Eton | Tory MP |
| Darius Guppy | Eton | Lowlife, criminal friend of Boris Johnson |
| Darren Henry | Rushmoor School | Tory MP |
| David Baddiel | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Comedian, Author |
| David Cameron | Eton | Former PM |
| David Campbell Bannerman | Bryanston School | Brexit Wanker |
| David Eades | Kent College | Former BBC News Presenter |
| David Frost | Nottingham High School | Unelected Bureaucrat |
| David Mitchell | Abingdon | TV Presenter |
| David Pannick | Bancroft's School | Barrister |
| David Shukman | Eton | Former Science Editor, BBC News |
| David Suchet | Wellington School, Somerset | Actor |
| David Walliams | Reigate Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Deborah Turness | St Francis' College | CEO of BBC News |
| Denise van Outen | Sylvia Young Theatre School | Actor, TV Presenter |
| Derren Brown | Whitgift School | Illusionist |
| Desmond Swayne | Bedford School | Conservative MP |
| Dido Harding | Leweston School | Track and Trace Disaster Capitalist |
| Digby Jones | Bromsgrove School | Conservative MP |
| Dom Joly | Haileybury College | Comedian |
| Dominic Cummings | Durham | Former Government Advisor |
| Dominic West | Eton | Actor |
| Dorothy King | Malvern St James Girls' School | Author, Defender of British Imperial Plunder |
| Douglas Adams (RIP) | Brentwood School | Author |
| Douglas Murray | Eton | Nat C Conference Speaker, Apologist for The Nazis |
| Ed Balls | Nottingham High School | Former Labour MP |
| Ed China | King Edward's School, Witley | TV Presenter |
| Ed Davey | Yarn School | Lib Dem Leader |
| Ed Gamble | King's College | Comedian |
| Ed Sheeran | Brandeston Hall Preparatory School | Singer Songwriter |
| Ed Winfield | Mill Hill School | 55 Tufton Street Scum |
| Eddie George | Dulwich | Former Governor of the Bank of England |
| Eddie Izzard | Eastbourne College | Comedian and Marathon Runner |
| Eddie Redmayne | Eton | Actor |
| Elize du Toit | Wellington College | Actor |
| Ellie Bamber | Wellington College | Actor |
| Ellie Robinson | Northampton High School | Paralympian and Author |
| Emerald Fennell | Marlborough College | Actor |
| Emilia Clarke | Rye St Antony School | Actor |
| Emma Barnett | Manchester High School for Girls | Journalist |
| Emma Corrin | Woldingham School | Actor |
| Esmé Wren | Portsmouth Grammar | Editor (Newsnight) |
| Ester McVey | Belvedere School | Former Minister of State for Housing and Planning |
| Fabian Hamilton | Brentwood School | Labour MP |
| Faisal Islam | Manchester Grammar School | Journalist |
| Femi Oluwole | Yarn School | Political Commentator |
| Ferdinand Mount | Eton | Journalist |
| Finn Harries | The Harrodian School | Filmmaker |
| Finn Harries | Harrodian School | YouTuber |
| FKA Twigs | St Edward's, Cheltenham | Singer Songwriter |
| Florence Pugh | Oxford High | Actor |
| Fran Unsworth | St Dominic's High School | Director of News BBC |
| Frank Lampard | Brentwood | Everton Manager |
| Frank Turner | Eton | Musician |
| Fraser Nelson | Dollar Academy | Tory Presstitute |
| Gaby Roslin | King Alfred's | TV Presenter |
| Garry Gibbon | The John Lyon School | Journalist |
| Geordie Greig | Eton | Editor (Former Mail on Sunday) |
| George Alagiah | St John's College | Journalist |
| George Eustice | Truro Cathedral School | Tory MP |
| George Mackay | The Harrodian School | Actor |
| George Monboit | Stowe School | Guardian Environment Correspondent |
| George Nash | Winchester College | Olympic Rower |
| George Osborne | St Paul's School, London | Former Chancellor of the Exchequer |
| George Russell | Wisbech Grammar School | F1 Driver |
| Ghislaine Maxwell | Oxford High | Convicted Rape Trafficker |
| Giles Coren | Westminster School | TV Presenter |
| Giles Dilnot | St. John's School | Think Tank Scum |
| Giles Watling | Forest School | Tory MP |
| Gina Miller | Roedean Moira School | Anti-Brexit Campaigner |
| Giovanna Fletcher | Sylvia Young Theatre School | TV Presenter |
| Grace Blakeley | Lord Wandsworth College | "Commentator" |
| Graham Stuart | Glenalmond College | Minister of State (Minister for Climate) in the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy |
| Griff Rhys Jones | Brentwood School | Comedian |
| Gyles Brandreth | Bedales | TV Presenter |
| Harriet Harman | St Paul's Girls' School | Labour MP |
| Harry Cole | Tonbridge School | Toxic Slug |
| Harry Hadden-Paton | Eton | Actor |
| Harry Judd | Uppingham School | Musician |
| Harry Lloyd | Eton | Actor |
| Heather Stanning | Gordonstoun | Olympian (Rowing) |
| Helen Glover | Millfield School | Olympian (Rowing) |
| Helena Bonham Carter | South Hampstead High School | Actor |
| Henry Blofeld | Eton | Radio Presenter |
| Henry Cavill | Stowe School | Actor |
| Holly Willoughby | Burgess Hill Girls | TV Presenter |
| Hudson Roe | Abbotsholme School | 55 Tufton Street Scum |
| Hugh Dancy | Winchester College | Actor |
| Hugh Dennis | University College School | Actor |
| Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall | Eton | TV Presenter |
| Hugh Grant | Wetherby School | Actor |
| Hugh Laurie | Eton | Actor |
| Hugo Taylor | Harrow | Reality TV Star |
| Humza Yousaf | Hutchesons' Grammar School | First Minister of Scotland |
| Iain Glen | Edinburgh Academy | Actor |
| Iain Morris | Hampton School | Writer, Co-Creator of The Inbetweeners |
| Iain Stewart | Hutchesons' Grammar School | Tory MP |
| Ian Dunt | Pilgrims Preparatory School for Boys | Anti-Brexit Journalist |
| Ian Hislop | Ardingly College | Editor, Private Eye |
| Ian McKellen | Bolton School | Actor |
| Ian Ogilvy | Eton | Actor |
| Ian Payne | Radley College | LBC Presenter |
| Imogen Poots | Latymer Upper School | Actor |
| Isabel Hardman | St Catherine's School, Bramley | Assistant Editor of The Spectator |
| Isabel Oakeshott | Gordonstoun | Tory Presstitute |
| Ivo Graham | Eton | Comedian (apparently) |
| Jack Dee | Frensham Heights School | Comedian |
| Jack Harries | The Harrodian School | Actor |
| Jack Whitehall | Marlborough College | "Comedian" |
| Jacob Rees-Mogg | Eton | Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy |
| Jake Berry | Liverpool College | Minister without Portfolio |
| James Blunt | Harrow | Singer Songwriter |
| James Cleverly | Colfe's School | Secretary of State for Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Affairs |
| James Colthurst | Eton | Aristocrat, Radiologist and Friend of Princess Diana |
| James Delingpole | Malvern College | Far Right Presstitute |
| James Dyson | Gresham's School | Entrepreneur |
| James Forsyth | Winchester College | Journalist, Political Editor of Spectator |
| James Haskell | Wellington College | Rugby Player |
| James Heappey | Queen Elizabeth's Hospital | Minister of State in the Ministry of Defence |
| James Landale | Eton | BBC's Diplomatic Correspondent |
| James Max | St Paul's School, London | Talk Radio Presenter |
| James Murray | Unknown | Labour MP |
| James O'Brien | Ampleforth | LBC Presenter |
| James Schneider | Winchester College | Corbyn Crony, Co-Founder of Momentum |
| Jamie Campbell Bower | Bedales | Actor |
| Jamie Cullen | Grittleton House School | Singer Songwriter |
| Jay Rayner | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Journalist |
| Jenna Coleman | Arnold School | Actor |
| Jennie Formby | Bath High School for Girls | Corbyn Crony, Former NEC Leader |
| Jenny Agutter | Elmhurst Ballet School | Actor |
| Jeremy Clarkson | Repton | TV Presenter |
| Jeremy Corbyn | Castle House Prep School | Former Labour Leader |
| Jeremy Dyson | Grammar School at Leeds | Comedian, Screenwriter |
| Jeremy Heywood (RIP) | Bootham School | Former Head of the Home Civil Service |
| Jeremy Hunt | Charterhouse | Chancellor of the Exchequer |
| Jeremy Kyle | Reading Blue Coat School | Former Peddler of ITV Poverty Porn |
| Jeremy Paxman | Malvern College | TV Presenter |
| Jeremy Quin | St Albans School, Hertfordshire | Minister of State in the Home Office |
| Jeremy Vine | Epsom College | TV Presenter |
| Jesse Norman | Eton | Minister of State in the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office |
| Jim Broadbent | Leighton Park School | Actor |
| Jim Field Smith | Wellington College | Director |
| Jo Coburn | North London Collegiate School | TV Presenter of Politics Live |
| Jo Johnson | Eton | The Lord Johnson of Marylebone |
| Joanna Lumley | St Mary's Convent School on the Ridge | Actor, TV Presenter |
| Joe Cornish | Westminster School | Comedian, Screenwriter |
| Joe Root | Worksop College | Cricketer |
| Joe Strummer (RIP) | City of London Freemen's School | Singer, The Clash |
| John Adye | Leighton Park School | Former Director of GCHQ |
| John Cleese | Clifton College | Comedian |
| John Dickie | Loughborough Grammar School | Historian |
| John McDonnell | St Joseph's College, Ipswich | Corbyn Crony, Labour MP |
| John Peel (RIP) | Shrewsbury School | Radio DJ |
| John Penrose | Ipswich School | Conservative MP and Anti-Corruption Champion(!) |
| John Ryley | Eastbourne College | Former Head of Sky News |
| John Sergeant | Millfield School | TV Presenter |
| John Standing | Eton | Actor |
| John Suchet | Uppingham School | TV Presenter |
| John Witherow | Bedford School | Newspaper Editor (Times) |
| Johnny Vaughan | Uppingham School | TV Presenter |
| Jon Lansman | Highgate | Corbyn Crony, Co-Founder of Momentum |
| Jon Moynihan | Ratcliffe College | Liz Truss’s main fundraiser |
| Jon Snow | St Edward's School, Oxford | C4 News Host |
| Jonathan Bailey | Magdalen College School | Actor |
| Jonathan Bartley | Dulwich | Former Green Party Co-Leader |
| Jonathan Gullis | Princethorpe College | Screaming Monkey Clown Car |
| Jonathan Marland | Shrewsbury School | Chairman of the Commonwealth Enterprise and Investment Council |
| Jonathan Michie | United World College of the Atlantic | Economist |
| Jonathan Whitaker | Blundell's School | Deputy Editor, BBC News |
| Joseph Fiennes | Swan School For Boys | Actor |
| Josh O'Connor | St Edward's, Cheltenham | Actor |
| Joss Whedon | Winchester College | Screenwriter, film director |
| Joy Morrissey | Worthington Christian High School | Tory MP |
| Judi Dench | The Mount School | Actor |
| Julian Ovenden | Eton | Actor |
| Julian Sands | Lord Wandsworth College | Actor |
| Julian Smith | Millfield School | Former Chief Whip |
| Juno Temple | Bedales | Actor |
| Justin Welby | Eton | Archbishop of Canterbury |
| Kate Andrews | Greens Farms Academy (USA) | Economics Editor, The Spectator |
| Kate Beckinsale | Godolphin and Latymer | Actor |
| Kate Bingham | St Paul's Girls' School | Chair, UK Government's Vaccine Taskforce |
| Kate Humble | Abbey School | TV Presenter |
| Kate Winslet | Redroofs Theatre School | Actor |
| Katherine Copeland | Yarm School | Olympian (Rowing) |
| Katie Hopkins | Stella Maris Convent school | Celebrity Racist |
| Katie Razzall | Westminster School | Journalist (Newsnight) |
| Katya Adler | South Hampstead High School | BBC News Europe Correspondent |
| Kaye Adams | St George's School, Edinburgh | Presenter, Terrible Dancer |
| Keir Starmer | Reigate Grammar School (became private while he was there) | Leader of the Opposition |
| Kelvin MacKenzie | Alleyn's School | World's Biggest C*nt |
| Kemi Badenoch | International School University of Lagos | Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade |
| Ken Bruce | Hutchesons' Grammar School | Radio 2 Presenter |
| King Charles III | Gordonstoun | King |
| Kirstie Allsopp | Bedales | TV Presenter |
| Kirsty Gallacher | St George's School | TV Presenter |
| Kirsty Wark | Wellington School, Ayr | Journalist (Newsnight) |
| Kit Malthouse | Liverpool College | Tory MP |
| Kit Young | Abingdon | Actor |
| Krishnan Guru-Murthy | Queen Elizabeth's Grammar School | Lead Presenter, Channel 4 News |
| Kwasi Kwarteng | Eton | Former Chancellor of the Exchequer (The Worst Ever) |
| Lance Forman | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Brexit Wanker |
| Lando Norris | Millfield School | F1 Driver |
| Laura Kuenssberg | Laurel Bank | BBC Political Editor |
| Laura Lopes | St Mary’s Shaftesbury | Art Curator |
| Laura Tomlinson | St Marys Calne | Olympian (Equestrian) |
| Laurence Fox | Harrow | Former Husband of Billie Piper |
| Laurie Magnus | Eton | Independent Adviser on Ministers' Interests |
| Layla Moran | Roedean | Lib Dem MP |
| Lily Allen | Bedales | Singer Songwriter |
| Lily James | Tring Park School for the Performing Arts | Actor |
| Louis Theroux | Westminster School | TV Presenter |
| Louise Minchin | St Mary's School, Ascot | TV Presenter |
| Louise Thompson | Downe House | Reality TV Star |
| Lucy Punch | Godolphin and Latymer School | Actor |
| Lucy Worsley | Abbey School | TV Presenter |
| Marcus Brigstocke | King's School, Bruton | Comedian |
| Marcus Fysh | Winchester College | Tory MP, Brexit Wanker |
| Marcus Mumford | King's College | Singer, Mumford & Sons |
| Marianna Spring | Sutton High School, London | BBC Disinformation Correspondent |
| Mark Dolan | University College School | Presenter |
| Mark Rylance | University School of Milwaukee | Actor |
| Mark Urban | Rokeby Preparatory School | TV Presenter |
| Mark Wallace | Royal Grammar School, Newcastle | Chief Executive of ConservativeHome |
| Mark Watson | Bristol Grammar School | Comedian |
| Martha Fiennes | St Mary’s Shaftesbury | Director, Writer and Producer |
| Martha Kearney | George Watson's Ladies College | Posh BBC4 bee lady |
| Martha Lane Fox | Oxford High | Entrepreneur |
| Martin Fletcher | Uppingham School | Journalist |
| Martin Lewis | King's School, Chester | Journalist, Money Saving Expert |
| Martin Reynolds | Magdalen College School | Principal Private Secretary to the Prime Minister |
| Martin Tyler | Royal Grammar School, Guildford | Football Commentator |
| Maryam Moshiri | Streatham and Clapham High | BBC News Presenter |
| Matt Allwright | Reading Blue Coat School | TV Presenter |
| Matt Frei | Westminster School | LBC Presenter |
| Matt Hancock | King's School, Chester | Tory MP |
| Matt Lucas | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Comedian |
| Matt Ridley | Eton | Former Northern Rock Chair |
| Matt Warman | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Tory MP |
| Matthew Amroliwala | King's School, Ely | BBC News Presenter |
| Matthew Elliott | Leeds Grammar School | Brexit Wanker |
| Matthew Goode | Exeter | Actor |
| Matthew Macfadyen | Oakham School | Actor |
| Matthew Stadlen | St Paul's School, London | LBC Presenter |
| Max Evans | Wellington College | Rugby Player |
| Mel Giedroyc | Oxford High | TV Presenter |
| Melanie Dawes | Malvern Girls' College | Chief Executive of Ofcom |
| Melanie Phillips | Putney High School | Journalist |
| Michael Ellis | Wellingborough | Attorney General |
| Michael Gove | Robert Gordon's College | Former Secretary of State |
| Michael MacIntyre | Arnold House School | "Comedian" |
| Michael Palin | Birkdale | Actor, TV Presenter |
| Michael Portillo | Harrow County School for Boys | Former Government Minister, Travel Presenter |
| Michael Spencer | Worth School | Massive Tory donor, rewarded with peerage |
| Michael Tomlinson | Hereford Cathedral School | Solicitor General |
| Michaela Strachan | Claremont Fan Court School | TV Presenter |
| Mike Parry | The King's School | Professional Gammon |
| Miles Jupp | Oakham School | Comedian |
| Mimi Webb | Kent College | Singer Songwriter |
| Miranda Hart | Downe House | Actor |
| Mishal Husain | Cobham Hall | Journalist |
| Monty Dom | Malvern College | TV Presenter |
| Morgan Lake | Wellington College | Olympic Athlete |
| Morgana Robinson | Benenden School | Comedian |
| Nadhim Zahawi | King's College | Tory MP, Tax Dodger |
| Natalia Tena | Bedales | Actor |
| Natalie Bennett | Methodist Ladies' College | Former Green Party Co-Leader |
| Natalie Dormer | Reading Blue Coat School | Actor |
| Natalie Evans | Rockport | Leader of the House of Lords |
| Nathalie Emmanuel | St Hilda's School | Actor |
| Navendu Mishra | Clifton College | Labour MP |
| Neil Gaiman | Whitgift School | Author |
| Nicholas Coleridge | Eton | Managing Director of Conde Nast UK |
| Nicholas Soames | Eton | Former Tory MP |
| Nicholas True | Nottingham High School | Lord Privy Seal, and Leader of the House of Lords |
| Nick Abbot | George Heriot's School | LBC Presenter |
| Nick Boles | Winchester College | Former Minister of State for Skills |
| Nick Carter | Winchester College | Former Chief of the Defence Staff |
| Nick Clegg | Westminster School | Former Lib Dem Leader |
| Nick Ferrari | Eltham College | LBC Presenter |
| Nick Herbert | Haileybury College | Tory MP |
| Nick Robinson | Cheadle Hulme | Former BBC Political Editor |
| Nick Skelton | Bablake School | Olympian (Equestrian) |
| Nicky Campbell | Edinburgh Academy | TV Presenter |
| Nigel Farage | Dulwich | Bollock-Faced Foghorn of Ignorance |
| Nigel Planer | Westminster School | Comedian, Actor |
| Nigella Lawson | Queen's Gate School | TV Presenter, Chef |
| Norman Cook (Fatboy Slim) | Reigate Grammar School | Musician |
| Oliver Proudlock | Eton | Reality TV Star |
| Olivia Colman | Norwich High School for Girls | Actor |
| Olivia Hallinan | St Catherine's School, Twickenham | Actor |
| Olly Robbins | Colfe's School | Former Senior Civil Servant (Brexit Negotiator) |
| Owen Paterson | Radley College | Disgraced Former Tory MP, Brexit Wanker, ECHR Hypocrite |
| Patrick Minford | Winchester College | Brexit "Economist" |
| Patsy Kensit | St Catherine's School, Twickenham | Actor |
| Paul Dacre | University College School | Former Daily Mail Editor |
| Paul Scully | Bedford School | Minister of State (Minister for London) in the Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities |
| Paula Vennells | Manchester High School for Girls | Disgraced Former CEO of Post Office |
| Peter Bradshaw | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Film Critic |
| Peter Hitchens | Leys | Christopher's Annoying Little Brother |
| Peter Oborne | Sherborne School | Journalist |
| Peter Snow | Wellington College | TV Presenter |
| Peter Wilson | Millfield School | Olympian (Shooting) |
| Petronella Wyatt | St Paul's Girls' School | Journalist, apparently 🤷♂️ |
| Phil Spencer | Uppingham School | TV Presenter |
| Philip Pullman | Taverham Hall School | Author |
| Phoebe Dynevor | Cheadle Hulme | Actor |
| Phoebe Waller-Bridge | St Augustine's Priory, Ealing | Writer, Actor |
| Piers Corbyn | Castle House Prep School | Cretin |
| Piers Morgan | University College School | TV Presenter, Former Mirror Editor |
| Polly Toynbee | Badminton School | Guardian columnist |
| Poppy Delevingne | Bedales | Model |
| Prince Andrew | Gordonstoun | Sweaty Nonce |
| Prince Edward | Gordonstoun | Royal |
| Prince George | Lambrook | Heir To The Throne |
| Prince Harry | Eton | Royal |
| Prince Louis | Lambrook | Royal |
| Prince Philip (RIP) | Gordonstoun | Prince Consort |
| Prince William | Eton | Heir To The Throne |
| Princess Anne | Benenden School | Royal |
| Princess Charlotte | Lambrook | Royal |
| Princess Eugenie | Marlborough College | Royal |
| Quentin Letts | The Elms School | Columnist for the Daily Heil |
| Rachel Johnson | St Paul's Girls' School | LBC Presenter |
| Rachel Riley | Thorpe Hall School | TV Presenter |
| Ralph Fiennes | Newtown School | Actor |
| Ranulph Fiennes | Eton | Explorer |
| Ranvir Singh | Kirkham Grammar School | Presenter, Good Morning Britain |
| Ray Mears | Reigate Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Rebecca Hall | Roedean | Actor |
| Richard Ayoade | St Joseph's College | Comedian |
| Richard Bacon | Worksop College | TV Presenter |
| Richard Branson | Stowe School | Entrepreneur |
| Richard Curtis | Harrow | Screenwriter |
| Richard Dawkins | Oundle School | Evolutionary Biologist |
| Richard Drax | Harrow | Tory MP |
| Richard Hammond | Solihull School | TV Presenter |
| Richard Moore | St George's College | Head of Mi6 |
| Richard Sharp | Merchant Taylors' School, Northwood | BBC Chairman |
| Richard Spurr | Nottingham High School | LBC Presenter |
| Richard Tice | Uppingham School | Brexit Wanker |
| Rik Mayall (RIP) | King's School, Worcester | Comedy Legend |
| Rishi Sunak | Winchester College | Prime Minister |
| Robbie Coltrane (RIP) | Glenalmond College | Actor and Comedian (NB he hated private schools) |
| Robert Buckland | St Michael's School, Llanelli | Secretary of State for Wales |
| Robert Jenrick | Wolverhampton Grammar School | Minister of State in the Department of Health and Social Care |
| Robert Pattinson | The Harrodian School | Actor |
| Robert Swan | Sedbergh School | Explorer |
| Robin Walker | St Paul's School, London | Tory MP |
| Rocco Forte | Downside School | Hotelier |
| Roland Rudd | Millfield School | Saboteur, People's Vote |
| Romesh Ranganathan | Reigate Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Rory Bremner | Wellington College | Impressionist |
| Rory Cellan-Jones | Dulwich College | News Presenter |
| Ros Atkins | Truro School | Journalist |
| Rosamund Pike | Badminton School | Actor |
| Rose Leslie | Millfield School | Actor |
| Rowan Atkinson | Chorister School | Actor, Comedian |
| Rupert Soames | Eton | CEO, Serco |
| Ruth Wilson | Notre Dame School | Actor |
| Sacha Baron Cohen | Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' | Comedian |
| Sally Phillips | Wycombe Abbey School | TV Presenter |
| Sam Mendes | Magdalen College School | Film and Stage Director |
| Sandi Toksvig | Tormead School | TV Presenter |
| Sarah Beany | Luckley House School | TV Presenter |
| Sarah Montague | Blanchelande College | Journalist |
| Sean Fletcher | Felsted School | TV Presenter |
| Sebastian Faulks | Wellington College | Author |
| Sebastian Payne | Dame Allan's School | Right Wing Hack, Think-Tank Numpty |
| Seumas Milne | Winchester College | Corbyn Crony |
| Sherelle Jacobs | St Paul's Girls' School | Journalist |
| Simon Bird | Royal Grammar School, Guildford | Inbetweener |
| Simon Case | Bristol Grammar School | Head of the Home Civil Service |
| Simon Clarke | Red House School | Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities |
| Simon Cowell | Dover College | TV Presenter |
| Simon Hart | Radley College | Tory MP |
| Simon Jack | Merchant Taylors' Boys' School, Crosby | BBC Business Editor |
| Simon Pegg (yes, really) | The King's School, Gloucester | Comedy Legend |
| Simon Thompson | Manchester Grammar School | CEO of Royal Mail and misleader of Parliament |
| Simon Wolfson | Radley College | Brexit Wanker, Tory Peer, Chief Executive of Next |
| Sophie Hosking | Kingston Grammar School | Olympian (Rowing) |
| Sophie Hunter | St Paul's Girls' School | Playwright |
| Sophie Kinsella | St Mary’s Shaftesbury | Author |
| Sophie Raworth | St Paul's Girls' School | Journalist |
| Sophie Turner | King's High School for Girls | Actor |
| Spencer Matthews | Eton | Reality TV Star |
| Stanley Johnson | Sherborne School | Celebrity Wife Beater |
| Stella Rimington | Nottingham High School for Girls | Former Head of MI5 |
| Stephen Fry | Uppingham School | Actor, TV Presenter |
| Stephen Poliakoff | Westminster School | Screenwriter |
| Steve Punt | Whitgift School | Comedian |
| Steven Barclay | King Edward VII School | Tory MP, Brexit Wanker, Covidiot |
| Stig Abell | Loughborough Grammar School | TV Presenter |
| Sue Perkins | Croham Hurst School | TV Presenter |
| Suella Braverman | Heathfield School | Home Secretary, professional ladder kicker, evil personified |
| Susan Williams, Baroness Williams of Trafford | La Sagesse School | Captain of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen-at-Arms (Lords Chief Whip) |
| Susanna Reid | Croydon High School | TV Presenter |
| Susie Dent | The Marist School | TV Presenter |
| Talulah Riley | Cheltenham Ladies' College | Actor |
| Tamsin Omond | Westminster School | Green Politician |
| Tanya Reynolds | Oxford School of Drama | Actor |
| Thangam Debbonaire | Chetham's School of Music | Shadow Leader of the House of Commons |
| Theresa May | St Juliana's | Former PM |
| Theresa Villiers | Francis Holland School | Tory MP |
| Thérèse Coffey | St Mary's College, Crosby | Secretary of State for Health and Social Care and Deputy Prime Minister |
| Thom Evans | Wellington College | Rugby Player |
| Thomas Galbraith | Wellington College | Former Leader of the House of Lords |
| Tim Davie | Whitgift School | Director General BBC |
| Tim Martin | Campbell College | Entrepreneur |
| Tim Vine | Epsom College | Comedian |
| Tim Westwood | Norwich School | DJ, Alleged Child Rapist |
| Tim Willcox | Taunton School | Former BBC News Presenter |
| Toby Jones | Abingdon | Actor |
| Toby Wallace | Caulfield Grammar School | Actor |
| Tom Bradby | Sherborne School | Journalist |
| Tom Fletcher | Sylvia Young Theatre School | Singer Songwriter |
| Tom Hardy | Reed's School | Actor |
| Tom Harwood | The Perse School | Tory Presstitute |
| Tom Heap | Oakham School | TV Presenter |
| Tom Hiddleston | Eton | Actor |
| Tom Hollander | Abingdon | Actor |
| Tom Hunt | King's School, Ely | Tory MP, Covidiot |
| Tom James | The King's School, Chester | Olympian (Rowing) |
| Tom Newton Dunn | Marlborough College | Tory Presstitute |
| Tom Scholar | Dulwich | Former Permanent Secretary to the Treasury |
| Tom Sturridge | The Harrodian School | Actor |
| Tom Swarbrick | Abingdon | LBC Presenter |
| Tom Tugendhat | St Paul's School, London | Minister of State (Minister for Security) in the Home Department |
| Tony Blair | Fettes College | Former PM |
| Vanessa Feltz | Haberdashers' Aske's School for Girls | TV Presenter |
| Vanessa Kirby | Lady Eleanor Holles School | Actor |
| Vicky Ford | St Paul's Girls' School | Minister of State (Minister for Development) in the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office |
| Victoria Atkins | Arnold School | Financial Secretary to the Treasury |
| Victoria Coren | St Paul's Girls' School | BBC Presenter |
| Victoria Derbyshire | Bury Grammar School for Girls | TV Presenter |
| Victoria Prentis | Malvern St James Girls' School | Minister of State in the Department for Work and Pensions |
| Will Poulter | The Harrodian School | Actor |
| Will Self | University College School | Novelist |
| Will Young | Wellington College | Singer Songwriter |
| William Dalrymple | Ampleforth | Author |
| William Shawcross | Eton | Commissioner for Public Appointments |
| William Sitwell | Eton | Editor |
| Winston Marshall | St Paul's School, London | Banjoist, Mumford & Sons |
| Yannis Philippakis | Magdalen College School | Singer, Foals |
| Zac Goldsmith | Eton | Minister of State for the Pacific and the International Environment |
| Zack Polanski | Stockport Grammar School | Deputy Leader, Green Party |
Compiled by Graham Hughes @EveryCountry & friends.
Please report any errors or omissions in a brown envelope, addressed to: Behind the Hot Water Pipes, Third Washroom Along, Victoria Station.